When Explaining the Love of God Falls Flat

I was running behind schedule. My last patient took me 45 minutes because her insurance required that we check off quality measures. My next patient was a Medicare wellness visits. We’re slotted 30 minutes for these visits but they really take about 45 minutes to get through if done correctly.

I got going on my next patient as soon as I could. On her past medical history she had circled blood pressure, high cholesterol and depression. Her respective medications were noted in the chart. Then I noticed that she had circled alcoholism.

It was probably something from the past. We really don’t have the time to get into that right now, I thought in my mind. Flipping the page over, I began to move on to something else before I was interrupted.

“You missed something important,” the patient informed me.

Looking up I asked, “You mean the alcoholism?”

“Yes,” she said tearing up.

Two Decision Paths

A decision had to be made at this point. The reason for her visit was for Medicare wellness, a rather involved visit involving about 50 points of information and decisions to get through. No way could I have decided to deal with her alcoholism AND take care of the Medicare wellness visit. I had to decide which path to go down. But seeing the patient before me in tears made the decision easy.

“We won’t be able to do the Medicare Wellness visit today,” I told her. “Instead let’s focus on this issue and we can put off Medicare Wellness.”

Liz* informed me that for many months now she was going through one to two bottles of wine every other day. Sometimes, after going through 1 bottle of wine she found herself wanting another one. Inebriated, she would get into her car and drive to where she could buy more.

The next morning she would wake up hung over. But the following day she would plunge into alcohol once again.

“I’m tired of this. I don’t want to be that person,” she told me.

After affirming her decision to quit, we discussed the medication management of alcoholism.

Wanting to explore the cause behind her alcoholism, I probed for why she was drinking in the first place.

“I know where it comes from. My daughter is 40 years old now. But when she was a young child, she was sexually molested by our baby sister. I didn’t find out till she was a teenager. As a result she spent most of her adult life in and out of psychiatric hospitals and drinking. She’s been sober now for the last 2 years, but I just haven’t been able to get over this.”

Liz had been to counselors. But the message she got from them was that she didn’t know any better. She didn’t have the information or the data.

Falling Flat

Liz identified as a “strong Christian.” I went into how God takes away our guilt and sin and explained it using the animal sacrifice model we see in Leviticus. I’m not sure how effective that was because she said, “That sounds violent.”

I quoted the Bible verse in Psalm 102 that says that God has separated our sin our guilt as far as the East is from the West. But I’m not sure if that landed either.

Then I decided to go into something else. I told her that God wants to free us but the Devil wants to keep us in bondage. And one of the ways that happens is through a negative voice that keeps playing over and over in our minds.

She nodded and seemed to understand. The voice she played over and over in her head was You messed up and allowed your daughter to be abused.

“And what does that say about you?” I probed.

“It says that I’m a terrible person,” she said.

I realized she was suffering from low self-worth. In that moment I felt deeply for this person.

I asked her what her relationship with her daughter was like. She said it was very good. That her daughter didn’t blame her. That she had a big heart and was a forgiving person.

“Liz, let me tell you something. You must have done something right to end up with a daughter like that. She has treated you better than you deserve. You did something right as a parent.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

A Lesson For The 21st Century

The challenge for medical ministry is communicating the love of God to a modern day, 21^st century people so they understand it.

For Liz, she didn’t get the love of God through an explanation of animal sacrifices. But when I told her that she must have done something right in order to have a daughter with a forgiving heart, that was the grace of God in her life. That was the love of God.

Since that conversation, she’s been free from alcohol.

 

*Not real name