The Single Most Important Quality in Providing Spiritual Care

After family medicine residency in Southern California, I left family and friends and moved up to a place where I knew no one, took up a low paying position at a mission clinic, and lived in a garage. Now that may seem like a terrible decision to make. But turns out it has been the biggest blessing in my life thus far. And still I ask myself, why I did it?

Was it to learn how to give lifestyle counseling? Yes, but there was plenty of that in Southern California.

Was it because I felt like God was leading me there? Yes, but what for?

Was it because I had an opportunity to learn spiritual care from a godly mentor? Yes, but what for?

As I’ve reflected on these questions, I’ve come to find out that God brought me to Northern Idaho to learn one single lesson. And the lesson was this: If I wanted to practice spiritual care in a way that was transformative for my patients, I needed to learn how to love sacrificially.

Here are 4 reasons why sacrificial love is the single most important quality in providing spiritual care.

1. The sacrificial love a medical provider has for their patient is life changing. In the blog Dale’s Tale, I shared how God had transformed this man’s life. He found it impossible to lose the weight necessary to be put back on the kidney transplant list. In an aggressive move by his physician, Dale was put on a 3-day water-only fast followed by a vegetable-only diet. The most striking detail in the story is that in an incredible act of solidarity and sacrificial love, his physician also went on a 3-day water-only fast. Compelled by this act of sacrificial love, Dale stuck to the fasting and the diet. After losing 35 pounds he was back on the kidney transplant list.

Smaller acts of sacrifice can also be effective in the doctor’s office. Sometimes a patient who smokes will come in for an acute sinusitis. After the examination and discussion of treatment I will go into a 15 minute long counseling session on smoking cessation. To help them understand what they have just received I will tell them, Today you came in here for acute sinusitis. We dealt with that but we also discussed your smoking cessation. Now I didn’t have to do that today. But I did it because I care about you and I believe you can actually quit smoking.

The love we have for our patient helps transform their life.

2. Sacrificial love ennobles the patient to live a better life.

In addition to loving the patient sacrificially, we ought to strive to awaken this same quality in their own life. Sacrificial love can have a way of clarifying values. When it comes to the difficulty of making a lifestyle change I will bring up the fact of how a parent would give up their own life if it meant that the life of a child would be spared. Somehow, the idea of sacrificial loves helps the patient live a better life.

3. Sacrificial love changes your own life. As a Christian, I recognize a nature that is selfish, self-seeking, and self-gratifying. Learning to love my patients sacrificially has taught me to be more others-centered and as a result my life has been better. It has made me a better Christian.

4. Sacrificial love is the essence of God’s character. As Christian medical providers, I believe our number one role is to reveal God’s character. This can be done explicitly or implicitly. Jesus wrote, “As the Father has sent me, so now I send you.” Our role in our actions and deeds is to reveal the character of the Heavenly Father. And God’s sacrificial love, is the essence of that character.